Marilyn Phyllis Graeber was born in Des Moines, IA, June 11, 1931, to Robert ‘Hutch’ Graeber and Mildred Grace Fausch. She was always proud of being born the same year ‘The Star Spangled Banner’ became our National Anthem! Growing up on a farm in Iowa during the Great Depression she learned the value and importance of family, faith, and hard work – lessons that carried her throughout her life.

She attended public school in Sheldalh, IA, graduating in 1948, and graduated from Waldorf Junior College, Forest City, IA, in 1950. It was while attending Waldorf she met her future husband, Robert ‘Bob’ Bender. Marilyn helped cinch the deal while at a college picnic where she jumped off the back of a pickup, calling out, “Catch me, Bob!” He did and they never let go, getting married on May 26, 1951. She taught for two years in McCallsburg, IA, and then set about the serious work of raising a family and making a home wherever Bob led them on numerous moves.
Marilyn always became an important part of her community and her home was known as a welcoming place and second home for all her children’s friends. In addition to keeping track of and supporting her three children, she could be found giving freely of herself at a wide variety of places. She was equally at home as a substitute teacher, Sunday School leader, Cub Scout Den Mother, Girl Scout Leader, and numerous volunteer activities including: Grace Lutheran Church Women, Sturgis Hospital Auxiliary, Fort Meade Museum, 4-Wheelers Jeep Club, Sturgis Area Arts Council, South Dakota Archeological Society, Sturgis Senior Citizens Center, Meals on Wheels, Tuesday Girls, Fort Meade hay rides and holiday parties, and being the unofficial mother, maker of treats, and costumer for an unknown number of high school and community theater stage productions. As the family grew up and moved away, Marilyn became the glue that held everyone together through a constant stream of phone calls, letters, and large packets of newspaper articles on the local happenings in and around Sturgis. Marilyn loved being a grandma. She would always bring special treats for the grandkids, eat lunch with them in the treehouse that Bob built, and take them on grand adventures-even if it was just a hike around the house.
Before being confined to a wheelchair, Marilyn was the primary caregiver for her husband, Bob, during his long battle with dementia. During her years in assisted and nursing care she was loved by the staff, developed a great fondness for naps (telling us often that she had earned it!), and proudly carried the title of our ‘Queen B’.
Marilyn Bender, age 87, passed away peacefully on Wednesday, August 15, 2018, at Sturgis Regional Senior Care. She is now in the joyful presence of her Lord, Jesus Christ, and reunited with Bob, the love of her life – where she is once again calling out, “Catch me, Bob!”
Marilyn is survived by her three children, Robert (Georgia) Bender, Valley Springs, SD, Randall (Elvira) Bender, Sturgis, SD, and Laurie (Phil) Bangs, Medford, OR; sister, Joyce (John) Hillebo, Polk City, IA; a niece and two nephews; a brother-in-law; eight grandchildren; four great-grandchildren; and several cousins.
She was preceded in death by her husband of 64 years, her parents, a brother-in-law, and an infant great-grandson.

Bob was born in 1927 in Oconomowoc, WI, to Walter and Helen Bender. He served in the navy and on his return went to school at Waldorf Junior College in Forest City, IA. It was here he met his bride, Marilyn Graeber. Shortly after their marriage in 1951 he was called back into service during the Korean War. When he came home he finished his studies at Luther College and the University of Iowa, getting his degree at the School of Social Work. He went on to work at Lutheran Social Services in Des Moines, IA, and then The Department of Veterans Affairs. It was during his time with the VA that the Bender family moved to Fort Meade, SD. After his retirement from the VA, Bob and Marilyn moved to Sturgis.

Bob loved his God, his family, his country and his horses (although there were times when the family wasn't sure if the horses didn’t rank ahead of them!) He was a loving husband and father; showing his love in many ways each day: from building tree forts and swings, to helping with their high school productions and scout troops. He even found time to write a secret letter from a favorite super hero that would mysteriously find its way into a bedroom! In the community, he was active in Community Theater, both in Sturgis and Rapid City, community concerts, the Fort Meade horse club, and the local 4-Wheelers club. He was always ready to lend his booming voice to a community cause.

He’s survived by his wife of 64 years, Marilyn; children, Laurie (Phil) Bangs of Ashland, OR, Rob (Georgia) Bender of Valley Springs, SD, and Randy (Elvira) Bender of Sturgis; and brothers, Wally and John Bender. He was the proud grandfather of seven grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.